Confessions of a Fitness Professional – Get Out of B.E.D.S.
Last month, I wrote about an amusing encounter with cheese sticks. I wanted the world to understand that even as fitness professionals, temptations still exist – AND – at times we give in to them. But for me, it’s ironic that I would share one of my food experiences because, in all actualities, food has not been a friend to me at all.
Lean in my friends; I’m going to let you in on a secret… (whispering)
For over 20 years I suffered with an eating disorder called B.E.D. (Binge Eating Disorder).
So what exactly does that mean?
Here’s the scoop…Picture it:
At night while everyone is asleep, thoughts of accomplishment, success, weight, money, control, failure, fear – and it goes on and on and on – starts to consume you to tears. To relieve the anxiety, you run for your life to the kitchen, pull open the cabinets, refrigerator and all those other cracks and crannies you’ve hidden those guilty pleasures from yourself (in an effort to deceive yourself), and then you begin the gouge. You may be thinking, “Lord help me!” But, you don’t really want help, because you don’t stop until that last drop, that last morsel of whatever you’re consuming is gone. THEN! You release that sigh of relief-satisfaction-contentment-fulfillment – so you think. Now exhausted and uncomfortably stuffed, you break into tears! A feeling of embarrassment, failure and defeat creeps back in, and you realize that you’re worse-off than you did before the binge.
The next morning the kids joke about you eating up all the snacks and you laugh along with them, denying the claim, hoping your secret isn’t revealed. “Good luck with that!” But little do they realize; it was far worse than they know. Then to ensure there is no weight gain, you exercise incessantly and/or take diuretics.
Friends, this WAS my life for at least 20 years! The craziest thing is I never realized that I had a real eating disorder with a name attached to it. B.E.D! Wow guys, it just hit me! B.E.D is appropriately named, because that overwhelming need to binge would most often come when I would lie in the BED at night!
Binge eating was a part of my normal way of coping with “life”. When I thought of eating disorders, anorexia and bulimia were the two disorders that naturally came to mind. Not knowing that what I was doing (which was still binging and purging) was one too. Isn’t it amazing how we can trick ourselves into false truths?
Any-hoo, I finally decided to “get my mind right” and seek therapy for my mental wellbeing. YES, I said the forbidden word … THERAPY. Guys, I didn’t just see a therapist, I saw a Psychiatrist AND Psychologist – the BIG DAWGS! Let me say this friends, taking that step to mental wellness was one of the BEST decisions I’ve made in my life. Through my sessions, I was able to identify some causes (some lifelong traumas), and began to find healthy ways of dealing with those things that “triggered” my binging.
You see, I thought binging was a way of taking control of things, but that’s a complete farce and contradiction. When I binged, I had no control. Mentally, it only made me feel worse. Therapy has actually given me control, and now I feel mentally and physically free, 100%.
So why am I sharing this?
Wellness isn’t only feeling physically well, but mentally well. Actually, it begins with our mental stability.
Here’s an example…
Take a professional football player snapping and killing his wife; mentally something isn’t right. It has been confirmed that the cause is usually a mental illness. Physically, they are strong, but mentally weak. They are not complete. We cannot have a 100% healthy lifestyle without a healthy mind and body. Considering that the mind controls it all.
My hope is that this message will challenge each of you to evaluate self and take control. If you’re experiencing some or all of these symptoms, or have had something traumatic occur in your life and not properly addressed – Please seek assistance from a mental health professional. Most insurance will pay for these services.
Food for thought…
If you had a deep cut that required stitches; wouldn’t you go see a doctor so that the wound could heal properly? So Please! Stitch up your mind, and let the healing begin.
This is my confession…..
Peace & Blessings!